Mine
by june7rose
Summary: Hoyt and Jessica romance. It starts out when they meet with a few added scenes, as a refresher. Then it picks up in season 5 at Fangtasia when Hoyt comes in looking for her. The same universe as Fire, my looong E/S fic, but it can be a stand alone. This is my first story that isn't Eric/Sookie! I I hated what the show did to Hoyt's character, so I'm "fixing" it. Lemons.
1. Chapter 1: Blushing

Part One

Merlotte's

Jessica POV

"_I smell sex and…candddy, yeah, who's that lounging in my chair?"_

I can see why my Momma and Daddy wouldn't let Eden and me watch TV or listen to the top 40 stations everybody else my age does. It's all so…dirty. But I guess I can be dirty now. I'm a vampire.

Why am I staring at this menu? I don't even know why I came in here. No, that's a lie, I do. I smelled the place before I felt the warmth of the bright lights. Humans. Drunk, friendly humans, out of control, their guards down. Lots of them. And each one smells better than the last. I inhale deeply. Damn. There is nothing human to compare this to. Nothing that was ever this good. I've never had sex, but I can't imagine it's this good. But I want to. I want to know how good it is, and I want to know how good it is to drink human blood too. The idea of doing both at the same time pops into my head, and I'm instantly so turned on, I can barely think. I cross my legs tight. Warm, wet, gushing, sweet blood, with my victim deep inside me…mine, mine, mine….

A guy is coming over here. He's talking to me but I can't keep track of the words. So I just look up at him. He's really tall. I'm 5'10, and I can tell he towers over me. This is what I'm thinking instead of listening to him.

"If you're alone that is…." That's the end of whatever he just said.

"I'm alone", I choke out, and he sits down.

He's talking again and all I can see is his jugular jumping around as he speaks.

"I was sitting there askin myself – Hoyt, why can't you ever meet a nice girl – and then you…just walked right in."

"How do you know I'm a nice girl?" If he had any idea what I was just thinking about…what I was thinking about doing to him.

"Your smile. See…right there, aww, I could stare at that all day long."

"Day? Yeah right." This man belongs to the Iight of day, and I can smell the sun on his skin.

"Did I say something wrong?"

He really is handsome.

"No. 'Course not."

"Good, because I don't want to scare you off." He's afraid he's going to scare ME?

"Do you want some food? Are you hungry? You should try the chicken fried steak. It's like a steak and a chicken had a baby…a delicious, crispy baby…."

He thinks he's said the wrong thing because he blushes bright red, and his head droops.

No boys ever talked to me in school. Not that I could have done anything with them if they had. But this is a grown man. A grown man with eyes the color of the Gulf. I don't know what he does for a living, but his chest and arms are lightly carved. Not the way guys look who spend their lives in the gym, but natural looking tone developed the old fashioned way – by working hard all day.

I have to say something. And this is where he leaves.

"I'll just take a TruBlood. B positive."

He looks up slowly. "You're a vampire? For real?"

I don't even nod. It was fun while it lasted – a nice man talking to me.

"That is awessssome. One TruBlood comin'up."

He gets up to get my drink. I puff out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding. He likes me anyway? No, no, no, Jessica, don't hope. You know what happens when you hope.

But he's just standing by the bar, and he keeps looking back at me, smiling. This is a bad idea. I don't even know who I am right now, what I'm capable of. Bill tells me I'm a "loaded gun." I have to apologize to Sookie for getting her into so much trouble. Once I know she's okay. It's all my fault we were out there last night, all my fault she was scratched by that thing. If she dies because of me…I'll never forgive myself, and my maker won't either. He loves her so much.

I'm lost in thought when he comes back with a TruBlood for me and a bottle of beer for himself.

"One TruBlood, B positive", he says, setting it in front of me.

"Thank you."

"I hope I didn't scare you, just coming up to you like that…"

"No, not at all." The longer I stare at him, the dreamier he gets. And he doesn't mind that I'm a vampire. He didn't run for his life. Or a stake. Or a burning cross.

We finish our drinks, and sit in silence. Not that there isn't plenty to talk about, it's just…we're both as finely strung as a piano wire. Neither of us wants to be talking. We both just want to be in each other's arms.

"I hate to say goodnight", he says, flushing pink again.

"Me too."

"Really?" His eyes light up.

The feelings churning inside me have me pulled in a dozen different directions. I'm trapped between feeling lustful, protective, excited, and just plain hungry. The smell of his blood could send me into a frenzy.

"Want to come home with me for a while?" I ask. Just get him in your lair, the vampire in me snarls.

"To Vampire Bill's house?"

I nod. We stand up, he tosses money on the table, and waves to a couple of people on the way out.

I was right, he's a big guy, tall, solid.

"May I?" he asks, holding out an arm.

"Please." I feel giggly, the way girls described in high school. And my stomach is flip flopping.

He wraps that arm around me. He's warm and his plaid shirt is soft and smells like laundry detergent, sweat, and a scent all his own.

I feel safe. It's strange because, in reality, I could pick up a car and he can't. But…I feel girly around him, and lean into him.

"You're so pre…pretty", he says. He's shaking with nerves. He's the most adorable guy who ever lived.

He opens the passenger door of a big old truck, the kind a "guy-guy" drives, and I hop up onto the seat.

I have to act modest, like a good girl should, I know. But it takes all I have not to lunge at him. Not to try to put him at ease, rub his back, lean in, kiss him, kiss him so long and so hard, to straddle him, to feel his warm, sweet blood rush into my mouth. Mine, mine, mine.

"Ready?" he asks, smiling.

"Sure", I say. It's a good thing I can't blush.


	2. Chapter 2: Just Like Old Times

Part Two

Hoyt POV

I'm playing with knobs and thinking instead of working, so I almost nearly lop Jason's head off, swinging the excavator around.

"Bubba!" Jason screams. "What the f*uck are you doing?!"

"Sorry!" Sorry.

I clear my throat. Dammit, Hoyt, get it together. But how can I? Just 12 hours ago I was singing. Singing, yeah, I know. The smartest thing I ever did was drive to Dallas.

No, that's the second smartest thing I ever did, the smartest thing I ever did was finally "lose it" with the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I don't care what anybody says, she's the most beautiful girl _anybody _has ever seen.

She has the palest skin, this perfect, flawless kind of porcelain. And it ain't just because she's a vampire either, she's the only vampire I've seen with such beautiful fair skin. Huge cobalt blue eyes, big lips….I never thought any girl that pretty would say two words to me.

This relationship – and I'm going to make sure it is one – is going to be challenging. But I don't care. We'll find a way to be together without hurting her, and I don't care how long it takes.

"Bubba?" Jason is just staring at me. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, nothing." I can't stop smiling.

Jessica POV

"Hoyt."

I pick up the dozen sweet smelling red roses and clutch them.

He's the sweetest boy in the world. And way too good for me. I drag the body of the trucker into Bill's house and all the way to the cubby. I'm a killer, and there's nothin that can change that.

6 months later

And now he knows everything. When that dog bit him, all I knew was how much I didn't want to lose him. I knew for sure I loved him too much to deny it anymore.

But now he knows why I've been avoiding him, and why we never should have been together from the start.

"I killed a trucker."

"How?"

"It was when we were apart. I was too hungry, and I drained him dead, but that was before I knew how to do it right."

"So drink me."

He unzips his red hoodie and reveals everything I've missed underneath. My pulse picks up. How I have wanted this from the first moment he spoke to me. But it's dangerous. I have to keep my head…

I kiss his stomach and I feel his inhalation of breath. I can also feel him getting excited. I kiss up and up, and lick up his neck…he tilts his head back and takes a deep breath. I feel his nervousness. Apprehension and excitement mixed. I look directly into his eyes for confirmation he still wants this and he nods imperceptivity.

Then I bite. And an orgasm slams through me instantly. He sits up and I wrap my legs around him…no one said what it was like to feed on someone you love. Want. Love. They're the only two words I know.

I know it must have hurt at first, but that the sucking sensation is actually quite pleasant. That's what Sookie said anyway in one of those rare moments she treats me like a grown up.

This is first time I notice my hips are grinding against his, and he's grinding back. I also just noticed he's trying to get his pants down.

I have to stop. I shove myself away from him, and prick my finger with a fang, smearing the blood on the mark bites. They disappear.

I don't want him to see the horror of my face covered in his blood, so I wipe my face on my sleeve like a kid.

"Jessica!" I don't think he would have noticed. I'm trying to get my jeans off. He's already removed his. I face him, wrapping my legs around his waist.

"Jessica…I love you…"

Ow, f*ck! Dammit, there has to be something I can do about that thing coming back. But it doesn't matter right now, once he sinks inside me and I remember what it's like to be with him, in his arms, like coming home.

PRESENT TIME

Fangtasia

"Oh my God." Tara and I are sitting in a big booth at Fangtasia. The new part-time owner, Lafayette, is standing at our table, gossiping.

I turn to look at what ever got Tara to say "oh my God." She's hard to impress.

No, no, no, no… In a ridiculous purple shirt, spiky hair, and…

"Is that eyeliner?" I glare at Tara.

Clearly drunk, he shoves his way to our table and sits down.

"Hoyt…"

"I don't care how horrible…how depraved it is. I don't care what you want to do, just do it with me."

Oh God that hurts. He's so sad. I can't bear to see him this way.

"You don't want to love me but you do!"

So what if I do?

"Honey, look at yourself, you're…." Tara cackles.

"My husband."

"Your whaaaat?" It comes from Tara and Lafayette at the same time.

I stand up and motion that he should follow me.

We go to the corner of the room, and around to the back where vampires and fangbangers are taking advantage of the owner being out of the country. It looks like one big orgy.

"I don't care what you want to do, Jess, just do it with me."

My heart is snapping in two.

I take his face in my hands. "Sweetheart, this isn't you."

"People change."

"Yes, I did. I changed, Hoyt, I made the mistake of thinking a young vamp could be happy in a monogamous relationship. I know how bad I hurt you…"

"You'll never know how bad you hurt me." He looks away.

I turn his face back around slowly. "I'm so sorry."

"Sorry isn't good enough, Jess."

"And I think…we should get a divorce. It can be just as quiet as you becoming a minister on the internet and marrying us. No one needs to know." Except Lafayette and Tara, oops.

He pulls away from me like I slapped him. Even now, beneath the ridiculous purple shirt, beneath the crazy…eyeliner…Hoyt Fortenberry in eyeliner…I can still sense the man who is "mine" and maybe always will be.

"You don't remember anything do you?", he asks, "The nights you spent in my arms, all the those times you said you loved me…"

It's my turn to look away. He's a good, simple man, but always a little too astute in ways no one would suspect.

"Say you don't love me. Say it and I'll go away forever." He gave me this ultimatum before. What feels like a lifetime ago.

Say I don't love him? I've loved the big galut since the first moment I set eyes on him.

"Say it! And put me out of my misery!"

"I…."

The door to the club smashes in. I scream, but my voice is lost in a cacophony of others. The patrons of Fangtasia, vampire and human alike, are shy of the media, and usually a little on edge just being on the premises. Someone crashing through the door is the first scene in everyone's worst nightmare.

There are 3 vampires. The first man in the door is clearly the leader, and he looks around like he's found a new world to conquer.

Another man and woman join him, stepping over what's left of the door.

Lafayette is in charge of Fangtasia since Eric is in Sweden with Sookie and their little son, E.J. Pam was disowned months ago. Lafayette is in no way prepared for whatever this is, and we can all feel it in the air. Tara and I share a meaningful look. If someone is going to have to spring into action, it's clearly not going to be Lafayette, gun loaded with wooden bullets under the cash register, or not.

"Where is Eric Northman?" the man asks.

Silence. Me and Lafayette may be the only two people who know.

He walks around the room, glaring into one person's eyes after another. Vampire and human alike.

"This is his bar, is it not? Where is his second in command then? His child Pamela Swynton-DeBeaufort?"

More silence.

He grabs a human girl away from his human boyfriend. She screams. The boyfriend is too terrified to move.

"Somebody start talking, or I'll start taking out the patrons. One at a time."

"Eric Northman ain't here, neither is Pam", Tara yells, "You don't belong here."

"Someone speaks! And it's a baby vampire." He releases the human girl and her boyfriend yanks her back over to him.

The vampire meanders slowly over to Tara. "What do YOU know about anything?"

"Eric Northman is my grandfather." She's taking a big risk. "And I know he ain't here."

"That would make his Pam your maker. Where are they?"

"I don't know. Pam fell out of favor, and I did with her. He doesn't tell me anything."

"Silver her."

"No!" I scream. Tara struggles as the two other vampires grab her shoulders.

The vampire in charge holds up his hand and examines me.

He looks me directly in the eye. "I know this red one. Compton's progeny. You're familiar with Mrs. Northman I believe?"

"I don't know what the hell you want…"

"To know where they are." He sighs. "You take too long, and you're not worth the trouble, little one…"

He reaches into his coat pocket and raises a stake. I don't have a second to blink. He brings it down in a killing, slashing arc.

To be gone forever. Just splatter against a wall, be washed away, and never exist again…that's what's happening to me. But it doesn't.

Hoyt jumps up quickly in front of me, and there's nothing I can do to stop him.


	3. Chapter 3: Guests

"No!" I scream, but the wooden stake is driven into his chest, mere inches from his heart.

The vampire looks incredibly shocked, and before I can blink, Tara has leapt across the table and snapped his neck in an instant.

Wow, a baby vampire took out this guy faster than the eye could follow. Even a vampire eye. Lafayette raced around the bar in the melee and raises his pistol. Two shots. The patrons are screaming and running.

"Settle the f*ck down, ya'll", he screams. The other two vampires have exploded into piles of red goo. "Our…guests…are gone."

People are running around. Screaming. Fleeing. But I can't think of anyone or anyone else.

"Hoyt!" He's on the floor, gushing blood, a piece of wood, nearly a foot long, sticking out of the chest.

I bite into my wrist. "Drink!"

He turns his face away. "I said drink!" I yell.

"No", he answers, "I can't keep doin' this, Jess. It's too hard. I don't want to live without you."

"Drink!" I turn his head back around and press my wrist to his lips but he keeps his mouth closed.

"Hoyt, I love you. Drink." He won't budge.

I couldn't be tied to one person, I had fallen out of love, I had to see the world, experience life, be a real vampire…I HAD to leave. But now all I want is to come back.

Bloody red tears are streaming down my cheeks, and I can barely see.

"I love you. Baby, please…please, we'll be together, like it was."

Tara is looking away. She lost her love too. She knows what it feels like and doesn't want to interrupt our goodbye.

Goodbye.

I push my wrist into his mouth, but he fights me. "Somebody call 911!" I scream.

"They're already on their way", Lafayette whispers from the bar. He expects this to end badly too.

I don't expect the humans to come fast. Hatred of vampires is on the rise, and I imagine it extends to fangbangers. But I'm surprised as stretchers and medical personnel come through the door.

They take a moment to look around at the mess. "Who's injured?"

"I am!" yells the girl who was grabbed. She's sobbing and holding her shoulder, it looks like it was pulled right out of the socket.

"Here!" I scream. As far as I'm concerned, her damn shoulder can wait.

"Shit!" the ENT yells when he sees what happened. "Is that…is that Hoyt Fortenberry?"

Southern small towns. We're all the way to Shreveport but everybody still knows everybody. I'm glad. They'll go out of their way to help him.

"What the hell happened?!" the ENT snaps at me.

"A vampire."

"Who?"

"You're standing in what's left of him now."

The guy looks down at his shoes. The disgust on his face is glued on.

Hoyt is blessedly unconscious. I hope I got at least a little blood in him.

The ENT looks at my wrist. "He doesn't need that shit!"

That shit. That's the second time.

"We'll make sure he's well taken care of", he says, and I start to relax for the first time.

"Thank you."

"It ain't for you", the guy says, and they heave the stretcher Hoyt is buckled onto.

I start to follow them out, but get glared at. I can feel the anger building inside me.

Tara grabs my arm. "Let it go. You've done everything you can."

"I did this, Tara, don't you understand that? I…broke him. It doesn't matter who drove the stake. I drove one in him a long time ago."

I take a deep breath and look around. Fangtasia is a disaster. Everyone has fled except the few of us. Since there were two human injuries, I'm sure the police will come calling fast enough.

I need to get to Hoyt while I have the chance.

"You can't drive right now", Tara says, reading my mind again. "Lafayette, just close up, and leave it. We'll take her to the hospital."

"The po po…" he starts

"Will be here soon enough Lafayette, let's go", she says.

"You have to…you're his family…" I start.

"I don't know how to get in touch with him."

Somebody has to find Eric and Sookie and tell them what happened. Eric isn't my favorite vampire, not since he stole Sookie from my maker. But Bill isn't my favorite vampire right now either.

"Lafayette?"

"I got a phone number", he sighs.

I'm afraid Hoyt won't fight, that he'll give up. I don't know if my presence will help or hurt. But they won't let me in either way.

We wait and wait and wait in the waiting room. I need a second when the nurses aren't looking. I can be in and out before they even see me.

Finally a doctor comes out to talk to us.

"How is he?" I jump up.

"Critical. I'm so sorry. There's no good way to tell anyone this, but…we expect him to pass some time in the night."

"Can I see him?" Don't cry, don't cry.

"Family only", he says.

"I'm his…wife", I say.

"You sure?" he raises an eyebrow.

So the doc knows I'm a vampire, not that it isn't obvious.

"Yes, we're married", I insist.

"Okay", he says, "You have 5 minutes. Does he have any other family? If so, you should call them now."

His old number is stored in my cell phone somewhere. I don't even know if his mother will take my call. I don't even know if she really cares anymore.

I start digging through my purse. "His mother's name is Maxine Fortenberry, in Bon Temps. I'm gonna try to find her number. Maybe somebody at the nurse's station can try to find her too."

"I'll have someone start looking…come with me…"

"Jessica."


	4. Chapter 4: the Wrong Side of the Door

He looks…he's white as a sheet. I have to get some blood in him, dammit!

"Five minutes", the doctor says leaves us alone.

"Hoyt…" I walk over to the bed and put my hand on his forehead. It's sweaty, and I smooth strands of hair off his forehead. "Please wake up. I'm so sorry. I do love you. You were right, you hear me? You were right, I love you. It'll be like it was, I promise. I'm not making that up."

Machines are keeping him alive right now. His mouth is taped open with an air tube down his throat. There's got to be some way to get him some blood. Doctors don't know what our blood can do…or we'd all be dead by now, our blood stored away for medical use.

I can't just yank out the air tube, but if I don't do something, he'll die. Soon too. I can feel…death, all around him. But it has no power over me.

He has a collapsed lung, that much I know. The stake fractured two ribs and sliced into his lung cavity. It blessedly missed his heart or he'd have been dead on the spot.

He's a mess of wires and tubes and plugs. I can't unplug the wrong thing. But there's also a feeding tube. With a deep relieved breath, I yank the tube from the IV. I bite into my wrist. It smarts to shove a vein into the tube. But then I see my blood being sucked up along the IV line, and straight into his mouth and into his stomach.

"Please God, please God…." I whisper

He jerks.

"Yes!"

He immediately starts hacking and gagging on the air tube. I push the nurse call button and they come running down the hall to his room.

"What's going on here?!" I look up to see the doctor shove the door open.

"I don't know what happened. I was just standing here, and he woke up."

The doctor just stares at me, open mouthed, for a moment, and then starts shouting orders to the nurses.

I run out of the room and back to the waiting room to get Tara and Lafayette.

He's alive that's all that matters, I keep repeating to myself for days. It's unfair to expect anything else. I said what I had to say to get him to fight. Right? To get him to wake up. But all the talkin to myself in the world isn't going to help. And I'm smart enough to know when I'm fooling myself.

I'm drawn back to the house. His house. Our house. The one I painted myself, the one with the lawn I mowed. So one night, 2 weeks later, I see the light on. So I knock.

"Hi Hoyt."

He looks like himself again. He's bandaged, but wearing a soft, old tshirt, jeans, and socks. The first thing Hoyt always does is take his cowboy boots off. I have to smile. He's got a beer in his hand. And he's never looked hotter.

He looks at me, then at the ground, then at the wall. "I understand I have you to thank for my life. So thank you."

"You're welcome. You look good. Great actually."

"What do you want, Jess?"

He's frowning.

"Just to…see how you're doin."

"I'm doin fine. Listen, I'm sorry I went there that night, you had already spoke your peace. Several times. I'm embarrassed at the way I behaved. I promise I won't show up at Fangtasia again."

"It's no big deal…"

'"It is."

"Have you heard from the police?" Time to change the subject.

"Yeah, I've gone down there a couple of times. I had to replay why I went there over and over. I told them everything I know, though. You didn't recognize the vamps?"

"No! No, I wouldn't have anything to do with them. Eric and Sookie are in Sweden. Man, he'll be pissed", I say.

"I can see how he would be." Uncomfortable silence.

I reach up to touch his face. He jumps back like a scalded dog. But I see the conflict in his eyes. How much he wants the touch. He wants to lean in. He wants to sweep me up in his arms. He looks dreamy. For all of about 10 seconds.

"I won't go there again, and I'm gonna ask the same consideration from you. Don't come here again Jess. Ever."

"I think I was…too hasty when I said we should get a divorce…I shouldn't have said we needed space that night. I should have tried to work it out…give us another chance."

His sigh is angry, bitter, and sad all at once. "God that's rich. You break my heart, you humiliate me time and again, and now expect me to just take you back? Just like that. Like none of it ever happened."

"But the other night you said…."

"The other night I was drunk. And angry. And didn't have a stake in my chest…"

"Thank you! I never said that. Thank you for my life. You didn't need to do that, shouldn't have…" But I'm so glad we're both here.

"You saved mine so we're even. But you gotta go now, Jess."

"But…"

"Goodnight." And he closes the door in my face. I feel how hard it is for him to do it.

And I remember another night. A night when he said maybe God does hate fangs because he sure does. The night I destroyed this man.

It's still very cold on the wrong side of the door.


	5. Chapter 5: Fangbangers

"Did you know the vampires who stormed in?"

My head in my hands, I answer the same question the police have asked me 500 times in 500 different ways. I have no idea why I was asked, or rather coerced, to come here again.

"The answer is still no", I say.

The cop, in an old pinstriped shirt, the cuffs rolled up to his elbows, leans across the desk at me. His badge hangs from his tie at an odd angle.

"Don't all ya'll know each other?" he grinds out. His breath smells like a cheeseburger with onions.

"Do all humans know each other?" I say in a voice so level, you could hang a picture on it.

"Don't get lippy, girl, or you might find yourself in a cell for a good long while", he whispers heavily.

51% of me wants to get out of here as soon as possible, 49% wants to rip his throat out first, then get out of here as soon as possible. My grip on the percentages is only tenuous.

"Now", he says, backing off, and smiling, taking my reluctance for the fear he was hoping to instill. "Tell me everything you know about Fangtasia."

"I've told you. It's owned by Eric Northman. He and his wife are out of the country. Pam Swynton DeBeaufort was part owner, but she left months ago."

"Left or was fired?"

"Fired I think. I don't know for sure."

"Would she have any reason to retaliate?"

He really doesn't know vampires.

"I guess she would", I tell him.

"Do you know her whereabouts?"

"I do not."

"You know Mrs. Northman?" he asks.

"Yes."

Here, I have to be careful. If I mention she broke my maker's heart, Bill will immediately become a suspect.

"How do you know her?"

Careful, Jessica. "She used to date my Maker."

"Maker…", he drawls, "That's one of them unholy words your people use."

"My maker is…" I start to shout.

"There's only one Maker and that's God Almighty",he interrupts, "What made ya'll? Well I can guess that."

"You'd guess wrong", I growl, "My Maker is Bill Compton, which I was about to tell you."

He scribbles it down.

"So Mrs. Northman, she went from one vamp to another. Must have left some hard feelings…"

"Not at all. If you saw them together, you'd see that Sookie and Eric belong together." Bill was the only one who hadn't accepted that.

"Sookie Stackhouse? Local girl. Trash."

"Okay, buddy, I get it, you don't like vampires!" My patience is at an end. My fangs snap out against my will. "I don't like little men who use their office to harass people. The AVL will want to hear all about how you're treating me…"

He jumps from fear, but then becomes enraged with himself, and with me. His face is bright red, and damn, does he look angry. He looks like he's looking for stake. He closes his eyes, opens them, and points toward the door. "Git."

I fight every instinct, get up, and walk out quickly.

I have to figure this out. The human cops are useless. This was definitely personal, but I don't think it was Pam. I know Pam, and she would have come herself.

So who was it? What did they want? I hope Lafayette has been able to get ahold of Eric. Tara would feel better knowing her grandfather is around, whether he banished her mother or not.

But I can't keep my mind in the right place. I can't think of anyone but Hoyt. I can still smell him on my shirt. When I hugged him and held him against me, his heart beating strong against me.

"Hoyt."

It was unfair. Unfair of me to want him back now, unfair after the way I treated him…but it's hard to shut off your emotions.

I'm angry and hungry, a bad combination. I'm storming out into the night...and plow right into someone. "Oh I'm sorry…"

And look straight up at my 6'5 ex, walking right into the warm wall that's his chest. His immediate reaction is to reach out. I don't want to move. Those arms…I remember what it was like to be wrapped in those long, strong, thick arms.

He clears his throat. "Jess…Jessica…hello."

"Hi. How are you feelin?"

"I'm feelin fine", he answers.

"Makin you come in again? I don't know what more they think they're gonna learn."

"I don't know either. One of them showed up at work. I don't push papers around at work, and they don't seem to understand that. I have to turn off the chainsaw or get out of the excavator; I've got work to do to get this project finished by June, and I can't keep stopping. So now I have to spend my evening here."

In his irritated rant, he seemed to forget for two seconds how mad at me he is. It's nice.

"Is he givin you trouble?" I tilt my head toward my own interrogator.

"He's not a big fan of fangbangers", Hoyt agrees, nodding his head.

"You're not a fangbanger, Hoyt", I whisper.

"As far as he's concerned I am", he says, and gives me one of those smiles, that sad, resigned smile he developed as a child being raised by that damn woman.

I want that other smile back, that real smile. The one that goes all the way to his eyes to crinkle the lines around his eyes, earned from working out in the sun for years.

The smile when we met, when we got back together, when we moved in together…

"Well I gotta go", he says.

"Right. Hoyt…"

He turns back around to look at me.

"Yeah?" Sad, so sad.

"I just hope…everything goes really, really well for you."

He nods his head, but doesn't speak and walks away from me toward the police officer.

"You didn't recognize them at all?"

Okay, I'm getting real tired of answering that question.

"No, Bill, I didn't recognize them." We're seated in the living room, his bright, shiny new living room. It bears very little resemblance to the place I…"grew up" in.

"Did Lafayette contact Eric?"

"I presume he did." I really didn't want to get in the middle of this.

"So Sookie and E.J. will be coming back…"

Bill's obsession with Sookie, and she and Eric's son, E.J., hasn't dimmed.

"I don't know. I just know whoever their leader is, he knew about Eric, he knew Pam, he knew me…."

"You're safe now", he says, like it's a done deal. "I'm glad to hear you didn't recognize them. It's going to be bad for anyone who did. Stop talking to the police as much as you can. It's going to be fine." He kisses the top of my head and walks away.

Why would he be glad I didn't recognize them? If I recognized them, we'd know who to go after! But if I did I suppose I'd be on their hit list…. "I'm glad to hear you didn't recognize them." "It's going to be bad for anyone who did." I watch Bill's retreating back, and fear snakes its way down my spine.

Hoyt. I jump up.

"Everything okay?" he asks.

"Just fine", I swallow.

"You must be tired, ready to go to ground?"

His grip on my shoulders makes me jump.

"You go on ahead. I'm kind of lost in thought."

"Jason?" he asks, a knowing smile on his face.

"Jason", I confirm, with a smile. The twinge of attraction I felt for Jason when he dropped off my things is long gone.

"Don't stay up more than a few minutes", he says, wagging a finger at me.

"Of course", I answer.

The minute he disappears, I run for the door. Can I run or drive faster? Drive.

Hang on, baby.


End file.
